Couples Counseling For Parents
Couples Counseling For Parents
6 Principles That Will Save Your Parenting Partner Relationship
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This episode dives into six transformative principles for strengthening couple relationships amidst the challenges of parenting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP encourage listeners to embrace unity in problem-solving, assume positive intent, grant each other space, seek counseling early, practice patience and grace, and confront fears openly. The six principles discussed are:
• It's me and you against the problem not us against each other
• Be quicker to assume good intent than ill intent
• Let each other walk away when we're over the limit. We will work it out soon.
• Start counseling sooner to heal inner wounds
• Patience and Grace
• Don't be afraid of the unknown
Hello and welcome. This is Couples Counseling for Parents a show about couple relationships, how they work, why they don't, what you can do to fix what's broken. Here are our parents our dad, dr Stephen Mitchell, and our mom, erin Mitchell.
Speaker 2:Hello and thanks for joining us today on Couples Counseling for Parents. I'm Dr Stephen Mitchell.
Speaker 3:I'm Erin Mitchell.
Speaker 2:And y'all, we're both coming in a little sick. I've got it now. Erin had it last week.
Speaker 3:And the week before.
Speaker 2:Yeah, erin's still sick.
Speaker 3:I'm better.
Speaker 2:I'm better too. I think there's a great chance that I'll just break down into a coughing fit and won't be able to breathe, but other than that, I think pretty good.
Speaker 3:Things are great here, but I think that this is pretty common. We've been talking to a lot of people and I think a lot of people are very sick.
Speaker 2:It seems like the sickness no one can get rid of. Correct it seems, is what we're hearing. Well, we've got it, we can't get rid of it. So we sympathize with all of you as well, but that's also why our voices might sound a little weird, a little deeper a little more nasally than usual, but we're glad to be with you today. We're just keeping track, as we have been. 91st episode today, nine away from 100.
Speaker 3:I feel like this is the 92nd.
Speaker 2:Oh man, let's see, I think I counted right. I think it's the 91st. No, yep, it's the 91st, it is Okay, so 91st and, as you know, for the hundredth episode, what we're doing is we're taking your questions, listener questions, and we're going to kind of do like a rapid fire, answer your questions, give a case scenario, try to have it a little, be a little more interactive with you. Also, look, you know, on the Instagram handle, for I think the best way to send us your questions is to subscribe to our newsletter. So if you subscribe to our newsletter and we have your email and then you send us an email, that would be awesome. But also, you don't have to do that. Maybe you're tired of being on people's subscription list. I guess I can understand that. You can just DM us, but most likely we'll see it in an email. There's a chance that we might not see it in a DM, because we get a lot of those and the staff sometimes has a hard time getting through all of it.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I'm very behind, I was not trying to say anything, disparaging about the staff.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that I was just saying like it's hard to get through all of them so email probably works best.
Speaker 3:I do enjoy them, but I do and I do try to respond to all of them. But I also sometimes miss them. Just recently someone was like, hey, just circling back, Like you know what I never saw. The first one, so I'm so glad you did. Thanks so much. Yes, I always really appreciate that. That feels very generous.
Speaker 2:And then also now this might seem self-explanatory, but you know, I don't know, so I just thought it would be fair to mention. You know we talk about. You know we see couples. We do a lot of coaching sessions with couples and you know, all of our case examples are not real in terms of real couples that we see, but real ideas from couples that we see. But you might not know this we see couples.
Speaker 2:Aaron and I meet with couples as a couple and if you're somebody who's like man, I really wish we could sit down with them and I really wish, you know, I think, they could help us. Guess what we can't. And so one of the you know you can go to our Instagram handle and there is in our LinkedIn bio. There's a like hey, schedule a free um 20 minute. Uh, consult, you know, with Steven and Aaron to talk about what it would look like to meet with them. You can do it. We also meet with individuals. So I I ended up meeting with a lot of dads um, dads, just about being dads and what that looks like. Also, just about being a human being and what that looks like. And Aaron ends up meeting with a lot of moms as well to kind of talk about. Oftentimes I think those conversations are how do I say to my partner what I'd like to say, or how do I express my experience to my partner in a way that can kind of foster communication in a more positive vein?
Speaker 1:So I think, I would say those things differently.
Speaker 2:Did I not describe that properly?
Speaker 3:No, I think you described it great from your perspective.
Speaker 1:I would love for you to expand on them.
Speaker 3:I think the things that stand out to me about the people who reach out to us is that I feel like a lot of times people feel like they have to explain that the things they want to talk about are about parenting. I think what feels important to me to note about who we work with is it doesn't have to have anything to do with parenting.
Speaker 2:Anybody who wants to have a good relationship with themselves or with their partner. Hey, we're happy to speak with you.
Speaker 3:Yes, people say I mean, but a lot of our problems are parenting related. Like well, the dynamic is the dynamic.
Speaker 2:Parenting is the context For a lot of couples and for a lot it's not, and that's okay too.
Speaker 3:Other thing about individuals I think sometimes people are just looking for some support or want a place to be able to talk about themselves or understand themselves better in what feels like a very other centric time of life, and I think it doesn't have to just be about your partner that you're talking. It doesn't have to just be about parenting. It can just be about you.
Speaker 2:It could just be about you. That is so true. So, hey, we do that kind of stuff. If you think that we could be helpful to you, we'd love to chat with you. But I thought I'd just say it because I do surprisingly hear from people sometimes who are like, oh, y'all meet with people and I'm like, yeah, and I'm just going to say that's on me for not having clear communication.
Speaker 3:Agreed. I think that's right. Making it clear Might as well be clear.
Speaker 2:And so on today's show we were thinking about it and you know, we get couples all the time asking us whether it's if you know, if we're doing a speaking thing, if we're doing an interview doing a speaking thing, if we're doing an interview, um, or if we're, you know, talking with uh couples in a coaching session, um, they ask us like what should we do or what advice would you give us so that we can have a successful relationship? That's a big broad question. But this week, um, aaron uh did a post um that we were, we were talking about it and looked through it and I was like I think this post right here, I think is a great answer to that question.
Speaker 3:And, to be very clear, the answers here are community driven. So I asked our community. This is what people said they wish they knew what they would like to go back and tell themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like if I could write myself. What is that? There's a country song about that. If I could write my Brad Paisley sings it. If I could write my high school self a letter, if you could write your younger couple self a letter, what would you say?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I think, the premise of it, and so what we want to do is we want to share with you these six principles that will save your parenting partner relationship. Save it. Listen to that, save it.
Speaker 3:I think sure, but I think the point more demonstrative it's like maybe that is the problem. Well, I don't even think that's the point. Support, assist, but not save, I think the point is that it's not too late. I think the point is that it's not too late. I think sometimes we like find this thing like gosh. I wish someone would have told me that. Then it's not too late to tell yourself now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Even retroactively, because we still need these things and that that couple that was struggling I mean a lot of these have to do with when they first met people writing in like even before kids, or some of them have to do with like, oh kids, this was different than I thought, or you know, whatever, but that couple still needs to hear that. Because if you are not speaking to that couple that is struggling, you are still struggling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that old couple, that historic couple that is struggling is not just struggling in the past, they're still start struggling in the whoa struggling struggling. They're still struggling in the present, and so you need to help. You need to help your present self by talking to your past self.
Speaker 3:Yes, one of my favorite quotes about all of this is what does not get repaired gets repeated. It's a good one that's a it's not mine I think I heard it in graduate school. I don't actually even really know where that came from, but the point is as deep, it's true, so so it's not too late to repair these places, and that's what I think the point is, and so not just to save but to repair. And so we can stop repeating.
Speaker 2:Which, I mean technically, would be saving. Sure, right yeah, ultimately, repair equals save, maybe.
Speaker 3:Sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, number one. She's so tired of this conversation and her podcast host partner, my staff, your staff, you're tired of the staff, you are the podcast staff, I know. I'm a terrible employee. Okay, so number one of the six principles that will help your relationship We'll take it off safe. Here it is. It is me and you against the problem, not us against each other.
Speaker 3:I think this is beautiful.
Speaker 2:It's beautiful and I mean honestly on some level, like number one, I mean that's a big, not that these are ranked in order of importance.
Speaker 1:But.
Speaker 2:I think that this is a great one to start with, because I do think that, at least how I think about this principle I'm sure we think about it exactly the same. How I think about this principle is oftentimes, in relationship, life is stressful, the stress of life, which is just like the normal stuff in life. There's a lot of transition, there's a lot of change, there's a lot of grief, there's a lot of loss All these kinds of things that create just a heightened level of energy and concern, in that oftentimes we begin to try and cope with it the way that we would as individuals, and many times that causes our partner, for first of all, it causes us to lose access to ourself. So, for example, steven withdraws in stress. Okay, well, that means that I withdraw for myself, I'm just trying to like survive and kind of not remember that I'm stressed. But then also that impacts Aaron because I've withdrawn myself from the relationship.
Speaker 2:And so oftentimes what happens is our coping strategies end up making us feel disconnected from our partner and we start focusing on what's your problem, why are you doing that? And we think that that's the issue at hand. We become one another's problem rather than oh wait, maybe this contextual thing in my life is causing me. You know I don't think withdrawal is a great thing, I don't think I should do that, but but is contributing to that. And if you and I can unite against that problem or that context, rather against one another, we're going to have so much more success as a couple.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't think I think about it very differently. I think that's it. I think that's right. I think what happens here that surprises couples is we were doing it better. I think there's usually a moment.
Speaker 2:We were doing what better.
Speaker 3:Stress. So I think honestly, typically before kids before your kid came along, you probably had it where that wasn't offensive to you. So Steven withdrawing. Like I knew that that's what Steven did in stress.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 3:He got really busy because Steven's withdrawal doesn't look. Still, it's not like he just like goes away.
Speaker 2:I don't just go sit down and not do anything. I become very, very active. It's not like he just goes away. Yeah, I don't just go sit down and not do anything, I become very, very active, very active.
Speaker 3:He's a busy guy. He's got a lot of. There are so many tasks.
Speaker 2:That guy's getting stuff done.
Speaker 3:Look at that he's getting stuff done it's important and it is helpful to be clear.
Speaker 2:And entirely useless also. Also sometimes that.
Speaker 3:But I think then something happens, and I think this is actually a very important thing for couples to notice. Something happens and and sometimes couples know it immediately like oh, it was this thing it was that day, it was this moment. I, I had that experience. Sometimes couples don't and it takes a little bit of like, well, it was around here, around there, um.
Speaker 2:But they almost always us included can identify the thing when the how like so for example you being like oh, I know that Stephen does this Like and you're able to kind of be okay with that on some level I have space and time and, like you, are going to come back when you come back.
Speaker 3:That doesn't impact me and really what it is that doesn't cost me.
Speaker 2:I don't take that personally until it does, and I think that the something that happens and oftentimes I think what we're talking about is the something that happens is you end up having kids, and then it's not just me and you, it's that process or that way of coping with things impacts everything Correct and everybody yes, and then it's like oh, wait a second, we have to renegotiate this Right and so-, but we don't, but we don't, right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it just continues to be this thing that builds up against us, and I think sometimes it's not just that we had a kid, I think sometimes it is pregnancy, sometimes. I think it is the birth itself, because what the point is is that it's in a moment where it should matter in a moment where I'm counting on you, in a moment where it's our kid, in a moment where we're waiting for the arrival of this little person and you're not there.
Speaker 2:You're building the deck, or you're anxious and stressed about whatever, and so the principle here is you have to understand one another's nervous systems. You have to understand how one another copes with stress, and then, rather than saying I don't like your nervous system, I don't like how you cope, you have to say, hmm, this is our nervous system, this is how I cope, say, hmm, this is our nervous system, this is how I cope. What can we do together in the midst of this problem to approach this differently, maybe, than we have before? Maybe we do need to grow in some areas, maybe we do need to get some new coping skills, whatever it might be, but there's not a judgment of someone's nervous system or coping strategies. They're simply, we need to reorganize and reorient how we do this in the context of the problem. So how can we unite as a couple again against this problem?
Speaker 2:And I think that that's the you know the sort of the basic idea behind that principle.
Speaker 3:Sure, I think that's right.
Speaker 2:So that's principle number one. Sure, I think that's right. So that's principle number one. So principle number two be quick to assume good intent rather than ill intent, I guess. Sure, another way to say this is assume your partner's best. The way you do this is you lead with curiosity, and I think that what that simply means is something goes wrong. Your partner says something you don't like, or your partner doesn't do something that you want, or you know some interaction goes poorly. Best, or to think about to be quicker to assume good intent, is to ask a curious question which is something like hey, you just kind of snapped back at me. Okay, is something going on, rather than why are you talking to me like that? You always talk to me like that, don't talk to me like that, which is all true. Like, yeah, we probably shouldn't snap back at our partners and yeah, no one really likes that. But to assume the good is like I'm assuming that Aaron just isn't some villain, just some terrible person who likes to be rude, and you know yell at me.
Speaker 2:But what I'm assuming is like oh, something must be going on. How can I be curious about what's going on, and maybe behind the miscommunication or the missed acknowledgement of a need, and I think that that is the quickest way into being able to do this.
Speaker 3:Certainly, and I think the reason it's hard is because we all say, well, wouldn't that be great, except they continue to disappoint me, right.
Speaker 2:Right, well, and that's I mean you have to, yes, you have to work through that, but I think, if you make this a practice, Correct it shifts even that mindset.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right, All right. So number three let each other walk away when we're over the limit. We will work it out soon.
Speaker 3:So there's two different types of stress in these moments. One says I don't, I'm going to avoid this conflict forever, and there's another that says we must work it out now. Both of them are responses to something being important, even someone saying this isn't important. I'm not talking about this. Yeah, it's so important they can't talk about it. That's a hard thing to recognize.
Speaker 2:To remember right.
Speaker 3:Right To interpret that way, but it's true.
Speaker 2:But there has to be some sort of communication between partners, so the person who needs that space yeah, because I think what you're saying is generally there's kind of two there's somebody who needs space and there's somebody who needs resolution.
Speaker 3:Yes, that is often the case.
Speaker 2:There are also two people who need space and there are also two people who need resolution, and yeah, and so what we're talking about is there needs to be a balance of you might need space, but you also need to revisit.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And that's the principle of you want. And I think sometimes what happens is couples get in a conflict about which one of the like who gets to win. Yeah, does the withdrawal get to win or does the no?
Speaker 2:we need to talk about it, right now get to win, and I think it's somewhere in the middle where everyone has to be a little uncomfortable. The person who needs the resolution right now has to be a little uncomfortable. The person who needs the resolution right now has to be a little uncomfortable with pausing and not having it immediately. The person who wants to withdraw has to be a little uncomfortable and recognize they've got to come back.
Speaker 3:Right, and I think that that's really as direct as you need to be? I understand you need space. When can we readdress this Right? I will be ready. I understand you need space. When?
Speaker 2:can we?
Speaker 3:readdress this. I will be ready. I'm waiting. I want to give you that space and or I need some space tomorrow afternoon at 2.15.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:And that might sound silly, but you have to be very specific when you're coming back and then if you happen to be the two people that both withdraw, someone has to be the one to say like hey, this is uncomfortable. We don't want to talk about this. When should we revisit it? But it's never going to happen. Naturally, let's pick a time and then, if you're the people that are both reactive, someone also has to be, or who wants to yeah sorry the reaction that's me, that's me, that's why I call it that.
Speaker 3:The people that are like now, now, now, now, now, because it's so disconcerting, Well important to talk about.
Speaker 2:Well, it's important to everybody and I think that that's the thing.
Speaker 3:But it's so dysregulating to have something unresolved. That it's now, now. Now I'm so uncomfortable, I'm this dysregulated, and what I want to do with my dysregulation is solve now, solve now, and I think you're just as dysregulated, which is why you're like-.
Speaker 2:Withdrawing yeah, and so something that person could say is hey, look-.
Speaker 3:And two people that are now now now. Someone needs to say like we need some time. Like let's take a walk, let's like, let's take a walk, let's give ourselves till the end of the weekend, whatever. But like let's revisit this at a time, but I don't. We're both going to derail.
Speaker 2:We're not going to solve this right and at the end you both really feel supported and heard and understood by your partner. Sure, oh wow, aaron's a lot like she's okay with me taking some space, like she's really being respectful of, like what I need or what my nervous system.
Speaker 3:Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:You know what. I really want to be respectful of her and I really want to meet her nervous system where it's at too Like. She needs me to tell her when I'm coming back. Okay, I'll do that, right, all right. Principle number four start counseling sooner to heal inner wounds sooner to heal inner wounds.
Speaker 3:I've been trying to get polls back up in our Instagram world. I think it's really an engaging way, for me at least, to see what is happening in our community. And this one came up I don't really know, I would say 100 or more times, even just this past weekend about like did you know how important this was going to be?
Speaker 2:I really thought one, I thought I didn't have any inner wounds, or two for me, I know, for even for us we'd done that work, hadn't we already repaired all those Like, and I think to to this point, like, when we say this isn't this isn't like to say that you know, oh, like, there's some people who have had really hard lives and there's been a lot of pain. There's some people who have who have like not necessarily had a lot of like really terrible, awful things that. But we are people who are shaped by our experience and, at the very least, we need to understand how our past experience informs how we see the present, what we believe we need to be doing in the present, how we feel, how we act. We need to understand ourselves, because if we don't, if we live our life and we live an unexamined life, then what we are doing is we live a reactionary life.
Speaker 2:What we do is we say, like, I've had this experience and I either liked it or I didn't like it, and so anytime I have a similar experience, I'm either going to react to it negatively or positively, because it sort of just matches something I felt that I liked or I didn't like, and in that there's no thought and there's no choice. And I think that that's the importance of this. We need to know how our life has impacted us Even for good, yeah, even for good, so that we can choose the kind of life we want to be living in our present, which, guess what, impacts what your future looks like. And I think a lot of times people might say like, well, I don't want to go back and think about all that stuff, I'm past it. Well, you know what? No one is past their past. We have to be able to understand our past, we have to be able to integrate our past into our current life, and then that's how it doesn't impact us in a way that we don't want or we don't live a reactionary life.
Speaker 3:I love that. I think yes to what Stephen said. I think the only thing I would add is what I've already added, which is what doesn't get repaired gets repeated.
Speaker 1:What doesn't get repaired, gets repeated? Yes, exactly.
Speaker 3:So I think that if for no other reason I'm a person and I'm sure this is very obvious at this point in the podcast life community I don't want to have to repeat a conversation.
Speaker 2:It's really. Don't ask Aaron to repeat anything. I love to repeat stuff. Oh, I know you do.
Speaker 3:And there's, there's such goodness in that. I'm not saying that mine's the right way to be, but it's really hard for me. I I feel like but I already said it, but I said that, I've done that, we've talked about that why would we but I think one of the most all have inner worlds? Um, this person said inner wounds, sure, but I think it's more just to understand our inner world.
Speaker 3:I like that Because a lot of the times, what couples are battling over are choices of good things. Like I want I can't think of an example right off the bat but like Stephen and I both have these really good values. But if we aren't aware of what's driving them, we're fighting over goodness Like what are we talking about? Like what an exhausting experience. So I think it feels repair, talk it out, get to know these places, share them with your partner, get to know your partner and then make choices. You know I love that word too.
Speaker 2:Um number five patience and grace. If I focus my energies towards treating Aaron with patience and grace, being generous with her in that way, and she focuses her energies on being generous and being patient and gracious to me, Guess what happens? You're patient and gracious with each other. Now, yes, that's difficult, but I think that that's one of the ways to shortcut all the difficulty about why it's difficult, and you don't need to sit there and be like well, I'm being patient and gracious and you're not. Well, I'm the one who's more patient. Well, I'm the one who's more gracious, Like if. If those are the conversations, then maybe you're not understanding the principle of what being patient and gracious is. This is a. This is an effort where you look at your partner and say you're a human being, You're not a perfect human being, I am not a perfect human being. I imagine being in relationship with me is a bit challenging. If that's the case, I need your patience and grace. So I want to show you patience and grace.
Speaker 3:I can't help but feel like I don't mean this to be corrective. I mean it to be like in in an addition to because I like, I think everything you're saying is right, Like if that is the mentality, if that is the ethos then, of course, that's a beautiful offering and gift.
Speaker 3:And I mean not just, I mean even for your kids, but also I think the thought has to be if I want me, so Aaron, if I want Stephen to be patient and gracious with me, I have to be someone who's acting like someone who gets patience and grace. Well, I can't just be like well, be patient and I'm just gonna be a jerk yeah, I'm gonna say whatever.
Speaker 3:I want not follow through, or you know, like gosh, you're just not patient with me, even though I consistently continue to disappoint you in the way that you have expressed, is very hurtful to you or feels really reminiscent of some old things.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And I think that implied in what you're saying is that we would do that. Right, I understand that. I just think it's worth saying I don't think anyone wakes up and is like I am going to withhold patience and grace today.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:I think it happens we run into the same things over and over and so Right, right.
Speaker 2:So we do have to have. We do this isn't quid pro quo. I think that's why it is a little tough, because it's not quid pro quo.
Speaker 3:It can't be but we do also. Opposite of what the words mean right.
Speaker 2:We do have to offer our partner someone who they might be inclined to be patient and gracious with you can't be a despicable person. You can't be a selfish person. You can't be an angry person. You can't be a condescending, mocking, sarcastic person and be like, hey, be patient and gracious with me. There are a lot of factors that go into why or how or why they might not be reflected in a relationship, but again, the principles are. This is what you want your relationship to be characterized.
Speaker 3:And I think the principle also is and if you're feeling like it's not, like you're struggling to feel patient and gracious towards your partner, that's not because that's what you want. I believe you you want that. What's making it hard? Yeah, Like how did how did this come to be what? What has happened mutually?
Speaker 2:And number six, the final principle don't be afraid of the unknown.
Speaker 3:And that one makes me want to cry.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like I could just cry just seeing that.
Speaker 3:But I think for so many of us we want the best, the safest, the most secure experiences for our kids, for our family, for ourselves, for our partner, that we can possibly give them. And we don't know what that looks like. And every single moment of parenting from trying to conceive to trying to adopt, to being pregnant, to your birth or arrival story, to every single day thereafter is full of an unknown and in our fear, right, we have choices what to do with that fear.
Speaker 3:It can further isolate us and it can further say like no, I'll just do it myself. No, I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, risk disappointment and tell Steven how afraid I am, or I don't want whatever, um, or we can bring that to our ourselves. We can bring that up. We can bring that out to our partner, uh and and talk about it and tear this, yeah, I.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I hear that from the standpoint of there is a lot to be afraid of.
Speaker 3:Because there's a lot to hope for Right.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I think oftentimes kind of what happens is that fear can lead to silence between partners and it not being voiced Correct.
Speaker 2:And I think that don't be afraid of the unknown from the standpoint of be willing to bring these difficult conversations or these fears to your partner. It's not like don't be afraid. You should always just be positive, like there's things that are fearful, like like fear's a real emotion, but I think, and I think one of the ways that we interact with it is that we name it and we bring it out, not because we're like so that I'm not afraid or I'm, but simply so that I'm not ruled by it, because you can be afraid and not be ruled by. It is, if you keep things that you are afraid of inside and from bringing them to your partner, then that fear will rule your relationship. If you bring them out, it has the potential to allow you and your partner to feel connected, to allow you and your partner to understand how can we move forward in a supportive way together. And it can, honestly, when you don't, when you feel like there's somebody else with you, it can give you courage, and so I think that it's.
Speaker 3:Well, yes, but also, I think what we're talking about is be vulnerable. I think that's all that we're saying and I think that this is sort of the blanket for all of them, which is we do have to allow ourselves to be known, we do have to risk vulnerability, we have to invite vulnerability, and the way we invite someone's vulnerability is by offering that ourselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So these are the six principles that, if you and your partner can incorporate them into your relationship, it will bring a depth of connection and closeness to your relationship, and so maybe a helpful thing that you and your partner can do is is just go through these six and say, like, where do you, where do you feel like we're crushing it? You know, what principles do you think we are just are are so so much a part of our relationship, and which principles do you think that we can maybe make some adjustments on it and try to strengthen and use that conversation as the catalyst for gaining a level of connection that you and your partner both want? Hey, everyone, we're Stephen and Erin Mitchell, co-founders of Couples Counseling for Parents and creators of the Relationship Reconnection Series inside of our Partnerhood membership.
Speaker 3:We created this series because, as parents, we know how hard it can be to keep the connection strong while juggling everything else. It's easy to get stuck in old patterns, especially when stress, in-laws or the mental load get in the way.
Speaker 2:This series isn't just about solving the fights you're having today. It's about digging deeper, starting with you. We start by helping you reflect on your own attachment style, family makeup and the stories in your life that have made you who you are and inform the kind of relationships you have. When you understand yourself better, you can show up more engaged in your couple relationship.
Speaker 3:And from there we guide you to explore your relationship story with your partner. This isn't about blame. It's about seeing what shaped your relationship dynamic and couple story so you can maintain what is working and start rewriting a new story in the areas that aren't. Once you've done that work, we dive into the real-life challenges parenting stress, dealing with in-laws and sharing the mental load at home.
Speaker 2:Each workshop in this series is designed to be a short, practical, step-by-step guide, giving you and your partner the insights and tools to reconnect in a meaningful way. Think of it as a reset button, not just to solve problems, but to build the kind of partnership you really want.
Speaker 3:Whether you're feeling distant, overwhelmed or just need a new way to communicate, this series is the first step in building the connection you deserve.
Speaker 2:If this sounds like something you need, we'd love to have you join us in partnerhood. Today's show was produced by Aaron and Stephen Mitchell. If you're enjoying the podcast, please hit the follow button and leave us a rating. This helps our content become more visible to others who might enjoy it, and it lets us know how we can keep improving the show. And, as always, we're grateful for you listening. Thanks so much for being with us here today on Couples, counseling for Parents, and remember, working on a healthy couple relationship is good parenting.